Product Alert : What Would Jesus Drink?

Did you ever wonder what Jesus Christ ate for breakfast? Perhaps it was something as simple as a banana or some oatmeal, maybe even just a strawberry or two. Well, now you can do the Son of God one better with our first ever product offering, the Jesus Juicer!






Combine all of your favorite fruits and breakfast grains into a healthy, zestful potion that's potent enough to wake the dead! Feeling especially grumpy today? Drive those demons away with a bountiful combination of oranges, lemons, and some nutrient-packed tofu yogurt! You can even live on the wild side by making Blessed Virgin Margaritas out of a few limes, some holy water, and just a dash of kosher Dead Sea salt! No busted diet is beyond the salvation of the Jesus Juicer, available at health stores or your nearest Christian Bookstore. As a bonus, if you buy within the next 15 minutes, you'll also receive a free set of 8 Communion Shot Glasses, perfect for those End-Of-Lent parties!